Dear non-law student,

I am the student in your hall of residence, church, or student group whom you refer to as “My Lawyer,” “Esquire,” “My Lord,” “Your Honour,” “I-Put-it-to-you,” “Council,” “My Learned Colleague,” or “Barrister.” There is a lot you must know—a lot that only I can inform you of. However, I must not get ahead of myself, as the sole purpose of today’s letter is to address the ludicrous things I have heard you say about law school and students of the law. I must inform you that I do not enjoy the use of big words <scoffs>. Well, it depends.

“Law students are stuck up.” Not guilty, Your Honour. This is clearly a hasty generalisation of the personality traits of all law students. With the reasonable exception, many of us are rational, fun, hilarious, and even (inserts gasp) friendly. I shall give you all the benefit of the doubt and assume that those who maintain this sentiment forget to consider that any busy student can appear conceited after one or five declined invites to a party or a chat with friends. I assure you that the majority of detached-looking law students are simply preoccupied by the hundreds of cases that require briefing and the essays that will not write themselves. Now I’m sure you can agree that we are all merely a focused bunch and hardly stuck up at all.

“You be shark oo.” Can we all please calm down? Just as there’s a whizzkid or two in your sociology class, there are students who likely waltzed out of the womb muttering the rulings of the House of Lords. Trust me, though, some of us are barely paddling through the rapids. Obviously, every one of us is intelligent, but the spirit behind your “you be shark oo” has the potential of making our MIS Webs laugh at us. Keep calling us “sharks,” but the next time you do, remember that even in a gathering of sharks there are great whites and hammerheads.

“So, have you memorised all the laws?””So, do you guys have courtroom scenes in class?”  No and no. Law school is nothing like How to Get Away with Murder or Suits or some other legally incorrect TV show. We memorise case titles and principles to survive another exam, not all the laws. We’re not working with eidetic memories here, sweetheart. Regarding courtroom scenes, oh, how we wish it was simply about rising to say “objection” to everything the prosecution says. The closest thing we have to a courtroom scene in class is feeling like an accused person giving testimony when a lecturer calls on you to state the facts of a case you only read in its briefed version. It’s honestly a riptide out here.

“It is easy to get a job after going to law school.” This mindset is why most of you do not reveal job opportunities to your “learned” friends. While the law is promising and full of opportunities, getting a job after school is not as simple as many think. The legal job market is ruthless, merciless even, particularly for the roles that meet your expectations of what a lawyer should be. So in all your thinking, best believe that law school is not an automatic entry into a glamorous legal career. I dare say a trotro mate has a better chance of becoming a chauffeur than a law student does at becoming a lawyer.

“You can’t date a law student. They don’t have time for anything.” Dear Aunty Betty, what is that adage about people making time for what/who they love? Of course law students have a ridiculously heavy workload to juggle, but you should not deny them their constitutional Article 33(5) right to love. We try our best to keep a good balance between our social and educational lives, so if you’re interested in having conversations and staring into each other’s eyes in the dark at night while watching movies we’ve both already seen, you can totally shoot your shot. If you are lucky enough, you will find a student of the law who will love you and teach you some wrongly pronounced Latin maxims.

I do believe this is enough for today, and I have successfully disabused you all of your absurd notions. Thank you for tolerating our overthinking and overemphasised attention to details. Thank you for being our cheerleaders and for unknowingly curing our imposter syndrome. Finally, thanks for seeking our “legal opinion” on your issues. It is exercise for our legal muscles, but be aware that we give such advice WITHOUT ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY.

Sincerely,

That one law student/The Esquire/some other creative and un-cliche name